The lawyer told the doctor, “I have no money but I’ll pay you out of the malpractice suit.” What can a doctor say nowadays? He asked the lawyer what caused him to be such a know-it-all. The lawyer said, “I’ve consulted a fortune-teller, a palm reader, Tarot cards, and a faith healer.” “And what dumb advice did those quacks give you?” “They told me to go see you.” When he checked with his malpractice insurance, he enrolled in law school. It was just as well. He only became a MD in the first place because he screwed up his earlier job as a kidnapper. His handwriting was so bad that nobody could read his ransom notes. At the time, doctoring seemed to be the next logical switch. He wasn’t such a good lawyer, either. He chased an ambulance 10 blocks only to find the patient inside was another lawyer. – Yet another malpractice suit to add to his collection. He finally settled. He ended up owing an arm and a leg – one set to the lawyer he had doctored and the other to the lawyer he represented in the ambulance. Now he's quadriplegic but he still owes the lawyer who settled the cases. Nobody likes a crooked lawyer until he needs one. But now what? He's gone back to kidnapping - pharmacists.
Based on material from this book by Milton Berle. Buy it because you will want to keep it as a reference book.